Isn’t that code for STFU*? I really don’t want to hear it. While honing my creativity over the past few years, I’ve learned to take feedback with the proverbial grain of salt: If it does not apply, let it fly.

But in the workplace, Researchers, IMHO,* have a hard time not internalizing the problems of the organization they’re working for. And gathering feedback is THE major component of our jobs. So, when we gather feedback no one wants to hear, what do we do with it?

Especially as professional qualitative moderators or UX Researchers, as we of course uncover user interface issues, or emotionally charged transactional discrepancies, we also learn that those findings invariably lead to the discovery of entangled processes, broken workflows, missed handoffs, overdue deadlines, excuses, and reasons for said issues, organizationally.

Early in my career, this kind of stuff weighed on me heavily. Why do clients ask for and pay big money for research that they don’t want to hear, that they just shelve? Why do they hire entire divisions of people to do work that they then choose to ignore, consciously?

Who knows. I’m proud I’ve learned to say to myself: don’t cry about it, sister. The work will be there for someone to do. Lighten your load, find a release valve. The weight of this company’s problems need not be on my shoulders.

Take up a hobby.

Make a joke, get a life, find a man, adopt a pet, stitch a quilt, make some art. Stop working so damn hard (and/or fretting and worrying) on problems that are not yours to solve.

So, if you’re like me and you too internalize much of the project or the company’s “issues”, here is my unsolicited but very sound advice: find a way to turn it off, because if you don’t you’ll burn out right quick. (speaking from experience, as always!)

Some people never suffer this problem, (you know who you are, former team-member at my last co, I’m looking/winking at you!) I wish I could be one of them!

I am proud to say, I am working on that. (with professional and amatuer help!)

Last week when I was coaching someone new to design research, I advised them to keep the respondent on track if they go out on a tangent. (and they always do!) As the moderator, it is your job to redirect them straight away with a polite “Thank you for that feedback, now let’s move on to this bit, where we’re interested in the so&so.”

So, yea, I think everyone knows that’s the code.

(*Shut the F*ck Up)
(*In my humble opinion)