The euphemism is thrown around a lot during someone’s first week/month/quarter at a new workplace. When a veteran at the startup asks a newbie, “How’s it going? You picking up what we putting down? Or as Anna Weiner’s crew in Uncanny Valley says, “You down for the cause?” A typical newbie response, if they’re savvy – will be, “foreshore dude, I’m drinking from the firehose!”

But when you stop to think about it, there is no actual way to drink from a firehose, and water will slay you. Up your nose, against the wall, you’ll be paralyzed by the strength of the water’s velocity and unable to move, think, breathe, let alone drink.

That’s why it’s important not to think too much, around here, anyway. This is one of the common sense beliefs I helped to spread, in the early days of Internet commerce, aka ecommerce. As I was beginning a career in market research, the unmet demand for usability research became the siren call to learn just enough tech skills to meet this market need. I often referenced the author Steve Krug, who literally wrote a book called Don’t Make Me Think , now in its 3rd edition. He helped me to convince stakeholders, agency bosses and marketing higher-ups whose butts were on the line, that a mere six, but seriously no more than twelve one-on-one interviews could give us the insight we need to move forward with this web design, or that web design. It was 2006, and I had clients like WDPRO, a new fangled business unit within decades-old Disney, chartered with (at the very least) discovering why their multi-million dollar brand new website, (complete with magical pixie dust!) couldn’t get as many hotel bookings as their tried and true call centers. Website Design + Usability, revolving around understanding the customer were at the core of what the agency that I was working for offered, at the time. We got up to speed on all things Disney, real-quick, and drank from the firehose in order to shed some light on the customer’s behavior, interacting with the magical, digital Disney experience.

Now that e-commerce has become a way of life for those who can afford it, and we’re all sheltered in place – (or supposed to be) – I have a lot of extra time to ponder how I feel about my role in all of this. We’re quick to click, yes we are, and we don’t want to have to think. We like one-click purchase from Amazon, and we want our empties automatically refilled, thank you very much.

When I am interrupted from this quick to click, quick to judge/rate with a one-star rant…I am embarrassed and ashamed, frankly, of how needy and childlike our consumer desires reveal us to be, as a culture, on the whole.

Gimme Gimme Gimme