It’s been a while since I’ve had that feeling, you know the one. When you finish a project that was much needed; where the impact – the results – the manifestation of your efforts is clear and indisputable. Maybe it’s as plain as taking the squeegee down the glass without a streak, maybe it’s more complex, involving teams of people. When you’re done, you’re proud of your work. Early in my career, the satisfaction of a job well done was far more common than it has been lately.

Why that is true constantly plagues me. The only difference between the work I was doing then – twenty years ago – and the work I am doing now is how I feel about it? Yes, that’s right: the only difference between the work I was doing twenty years ago and the work I am doing these days is how I feel about it.

Everyone I know over a certain age has experienced this disillusionment, perhaps a bit after their career peak, if you will. As much as there is a coming of age in our youth, there is a reckoning of sorts on how we’ve spent our time, where we’ve willingly put attention in our middle years. For me, anyway. I hope I haven’t hit my peak, I just turned fifty, but statistics show it’s probably going to be, well, it could be true for me. Especially if I get complacent.

Hell, maybe it is this reaching of the summit that causes the change in perspective. Duh, that seems obvious now that I write it out. As usual, I am probably oversimplifying. (It is one of my strengths.)

As my career has progressed, the definition of a job well done has changed, both internally – what measures I use – and externally, what the employer or client expects from the project I’m leading. Naturally, this is what you want, right? Progressively changing goals and challenges, constant growth, lifelong learning — coupled with the salaries and bonuses, risks/rewards commensurate with experience and willingness, getting higher, bigger, more lucrative over time. If only it were that simple.