The other day I interviewed a friend of mine who is a personal trainer, just for this blog. She agreed because I promised her anonymity, and because I always want to know the seedy, dirty, gross parts of any job. She happily complied, drawing on fifteen years of experience both working at name brand gyms and as a self-employed coach to the wellness-obsessed.

Interestingly, she’d given this topic some thought (in preparation for this interview?) and she had the worst kinds of clients neatly categorized into three groups, which I’ll outline here:

The Narcissists – these clients have lots of money, in fact they have money to burn, she says. She described them as giving you lots of gifts and little extras or they do you special favors and expect friendship in return. There is an awkwardness to the whole relationship, because The Narcissist doesn’t respect the trainers boundaries, typically. My trainer friend had long ago learned to limit her bookings with this kind of client, but when you work for a gym, you have little control over who books your time. And gyms attract lots of folks looking for – and I mean really seeking – friends and community. If you know how that feels, can I pay you to be my fitness friend, and my regular friend? Awkward.

The Sexual Predators – Sadly, my trainer friend had experienced more than one of this type of client. While the #metoo movement was NOT what this interview was about, she relayed several cases to me about clients that want too much of your time, share information that is far too personal in nature and pull on your heartstrings to bring you in closer, all the while having an agenda that seems sexual in nature. It’s hard to put your finger on it if describing it to others, but it’s always inappropriate, professionally, and personally/emotionally, very weird to deal with. A younger version of this trainer friend might not have recognized this sexual manipulation from a client so quickly, but since she was well into her 30’s when she began training, she was smart to enlist help from her male trainer friends in dealing with the worst one she’d had: At one point her trainer buddies (a naturally protective group) formed a literal wall of muscle for her to hide behind so this harasser client couldn’t see her leave the gym. Can you imagine? Seriously.

The Petulant Bitches – these clients are the type who just demand perfection from you, but behave themselves like tyrant toddlers. Often times, this type of client tends to be famous, or almost famous, or they think they’re famous. Like when they threaten to fire you if you mention anywhere publically, or on social media, that you’re they’re trainer. At this point, my friend mentions that -well, you know, she’s gone to school to learn to be a trainer, but it’s not like she’s taken a hippocratic oath or anything, so let’s be clear: sharing how shitty you are at deadlifts on my Instagram account is not what I am about, honey. Get to lifting, 2 more sets to go. Why would anyone care? Eye-Roll.

As a professional fitness trainer, my friend had learned the basics of all good client/service relationships: Boundaries. Setting them, respecting them, communicating them and holding clients accountable to them. Not letting folks intrude, invade, refute and destroy the boundaries around her time, her body, her emotive support, and her mindshare – all of these became necessary tools of her trade. Because she’s a true pro, she has a roster of solid clients and, well, duh, I didn’t ask about what makes them so great. I guess that’s another blog post!