I once had a writing coach who fired me as a client because I wasn’t actually writing. I was talking a lot about writing, but I wasn’t producing any words for her to help me with. When I did follow her advice and gave her some words to react to, she backed down, after reading portions of some very messy, long-winded-first drafts – saying my writing was “too raw, fresh and delicate,” and not yet ready for her critique skills. To be fair, she was protecting my fragile Artist within, and, of course I am grateful, (now!) but at the time, I was pretty butt hurt over it.

Now I have a new coach, two different writing groups I participate in religiously (that is to say, regularly, and with Faith!) I write original content for a few different blogs to keep my pen moving, (this one and that one) as well as always taking a class or doing a Round Robin, since December of 2019. It’s like I’m getting my own MFA in creative writing. Currently I’m in a long term memoir class, which comes with a mentor and a writing buddy who working on a similar body of work.

If giving advice is an artform, taking advice is performance art. I’ve done my damndest to take what applies and let the rest fly when seeking critique, and, to that end, my writing has most definitely improved due to the harshest of feedback. It’s all been done with the best intent, even if not always so even-handed, or if my skin was too thin.

My shrink helped me realize that no one but me is going to recognize the importance of my writing life and what it means to me, and what I can produce as a result of my writing life…no one but me is going to make that dream happen. It takes a village of people to support it, yes, but it takes me, the one and only, to believe that I can do it. And, I’m working on that, diligently. In fact, my first published blog piece on an external blog (not my own) is forthcoming October 5th, on Brevity Blog. It’s a conversation with debut memoirist: Allison Landa. (who is my current writing group coach, and has the forthcoming BEARDED LADY memoir due out on Oct 4.) I showcase my professional interviewing skills, and it reads like a casual conversation, because it was. I hope you’ll check it out. (both the Q&A and her book!)

For me, it’s taken a lot of emotional support to make creative progress in my writing, (my brother, my shrink, my boyfriend,) the right coach, the time and space to do the work. “Filing the well” regularly with inspiration: dedicated playtime each week. Fellowship with other struggling writers has also helped.

Recognizing that I didn’t always take advice I was paying for, I have to note that I was probably a workplace woe for that original coach. She likely gave a great deal of thought to, and really sweat the details of how to fire me as a client, how to keep me from hating her, or giving her a bad review (god forbid).

She did do a good job. (both in firing me, and in coaching me.) And, I’ve ultimately taken her advice, literally followed the steps of her latest How-To book. (Commitment, Craft, Confidence and Community!) It doesn’t happen overnight, as she fired me about 6 years ago. I never really admit that it hurt until now.

As I’ve learned from my new coach, (and Julia Cameron’s Artist’s Way,) it’s all part of the process.